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Jordan Peterson: Overcoming self-defeating behaviors

Yeah, I had flings here and there, but nothing serious. In fact, I think I purposefully chose relationships I knew had no staying power. And while I've always had incredibly close friends, it's easy to hold your friends at arm's length. If I'm reeling with anxiety, I choose to stay a recluse in my little six-story walkup Upper East Side apartment and deal with it alone. I only like to socialize when I shine like the top of the Chrysler Building when my eyes are so white, they're sparkling and I'm feeling super FAB, you know?

Perfection: A Self-Destructive Diet Career

Like juice cleanse fab. Because when I'm feeling anxiety or I'm shame spiraling, I tend to do really unhealthy things, but in a super low-key way. For instance, if I'm feeling really out of control about my life and where I'm going and what I'm doing and how I'm feeling, I'll start to micromanage the hell out of my diet.

My eating habits will get very bizarre and I'll live off protein bars or if I do eat a piece of pizza, I'll punish myself about it for weeks we won't get into the punishment details, not today at least. I would've made a great WASP, you know. I'm really good at swigging back a martini and perfectly applying a fresh layer of beige lipstick, excusing myself to powder my nose in the ladies room and pretending everything is just fine, babe.

I've been in such denial about so many things for so much of my life. No one knows I so often go home and pop a Xanax before bed because my brain is swirling with so many screwy, sad thoughts that it feels impossible to sleep. The thing is, all of my little self-destructive habits are totally easy to hide from the outside world when I'm single.


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First of all, I'm 30 , it's not like my friends and I are sharing studio apartments anymore thank God for that. We're finally at the age where we live alone and have our own apartments where we're free to be totally weird by ourselves and no one ever has to know we're popping pills before bed or curling up in the fetal position picking at a non-existent layer of fat hanging out of our skinny jeans for 30 minutes straight or scrutinizing our bodies in the mirror or just choosing to live off white wine for the week.

These things are easy to hide, especially when you're "dangerous" like me. I get what the Chanel brooch therapist was saying. I'm dangerous because I hide it all so well. I never self-destruct to the point of hurting my work or tarnishing my skin complexion for that matter. And suddenly, I started dating someone. And dating someone is easy because you can still keep that person at arm's length.

How to help people with destructive eating habits

You see them two, maybe three times a week, tops. You see them after you've exfoliated your skin and flat-ironed away the kinks in your hair and brain and have maybe even consumed a personality drink or two. They get to see the perfectly curated version of you. But all of those bullshit excuses fade away when you start to really like someone.

The Mindful Eating Program

And pretty soon, the two of you become intimate. Like you're having sex. Lots of sex, all of the time.

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Up close and personal sex. And the next thing you know, you're waking up next to her, sleeping with your bodies intertwined and you have this amazing authentic connection.

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Gag, it's really creepy, isn't it? And then, all your little secrets become hard to keep. Like, in my case, you suddenly can't really hide the fact that you pop a pill before bed when you're spending the night with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Or like in my case again, you can't really hide the fact you don't eat like a normal human being. There are only so many times you can push your penne around your bowl before something has to give. And she or he will intrinsically know that you've got some pain deep inside of you, girl.


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  7. Conversely, the traditional dietary villains, fat, particularly saturated fat, and salt, have undergone re-examination by many thoughtful nutrition experts. In both cases, the available scientific evidence does not clearly show a link to heart disease. Build physical activity into your daily life.


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    Find a way to get 20 or 30 minutes of activity each day, including riding a bike or briskly walking to work. Related: Learn how to run like a pro. Nutrition science is complicated and debated endlessly, but the basics are well established: Eat plenty of plant foods, go easy on junk foods, and stay active.

    The trick is to enjoy your meals, but not to eat too much or too often. My tip would be to not to ban entire food groups but to practice portion control. No one got fat from eating carrots or bananas. Choose smaller portions of unhealthy foods such as sweets, alcohol and processed foods. When eating out, let your hand be your guide. A serving of protein like chicken or fish should be the size of your palm. Think palms of protein. A serving of starch, preferably a whole grain such as brown rice or quinoa should be the size of your fist.

    Limit high-fat condiments like salad dressing to a few tablespoons — a tablespoon is about the size of your thumb tip. If you engage in a lot of drinking and snacking, ensure you exercise a lot to offset all those extra calories from Friday to Sunday that come with extra drinking and eating.

    We found in a study that on Friday through Sunday young adults consumed about more calories than on other days, mainly from fat and alcohol. Ohio State University research found that work life in your 20s can affect your midlife mental health. People who are less happy in their jobs are more likely to report depression, stress and sleep problems and have lower overall mental health scores. If I can give just one piece of health advice for year-olds, I would suggest finding a job they feel passionate about.

    This passion can keep them motivated, help them find meaning in life, and increase expectations about their future. That in turn will make them more engaged in life and healthier behaviors, which will have long term benefits for their well-being. Please upgrade your browser. See next articles. If you had just one piece of health advice for people in their 20s, what would it be?